LITTLE FISH
by Rumified
Summary: LITTLE FISH focuses on the everyday struggle that Mikasa must endure as she becomes the guardian of a 5yr old Annie. It'll explore her subconscious as she comes to terms on what it means to care for a child.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Everyone was summoned, a loud crack like never before was heard below, Hanji and her men fully armed, followed the pursuit, preparing for the worst. Frighten and completely baffle. It had been many months since Annie's _fall_, and after constant surveillance, everyone grew tired. Their interest faded. Hanji was no longer amused, she could only stare at a person in deep sleep for so long before calling it quits. Her amusement relied on living _things_, things that can attack her for one, things that can move and create panic in those around her. Only then, Hanji was content. But this, this was boring. A solidified person with no means of communication, Hanji didn't want to admit that Levi had a point when he called her '_storage, wasted space'_. She was gradually becoming one. The staff even stop polishing it, at first they grew terrified of _waking_ her up, seeing her eyes open; the first few days were very exciting for Hanji. But nothing happened. Until now.

It was out of sheer luck that Jean, Mikasa and Eren were nearby when they heard the loud crack. They were all confused and stare all over the place wondering what it was. It was only until they saw panic in their peers, making haste towards the dungeon that alarmed them. They knew instantly what was happening.

"She's going to attack!" One shouted, that was enough to make them all follow pursuit. "But that's impossible!" Jean shouted behind Eren, who was following Mikasa. Neither made any comment, to their knowledge her turning into a Crystal was also impossible. None were sure what to believe in anymore. Perhaps that was the reason they were running towards the danger instead of running away like many before them. They were curious.

Inside, Eren remembered an old friend; that was reason enough to follow after his sister, whereas Mikasa's intention wasn't quite clear. She was the one that spoke to her before her fall, maybe it was guilt. Not that anyone knew, whatever the reason, it bewildered both men to see her sudden interest spike.

"Bar the doors! Let no one in!" Levi commanded as he saw the three running pass him without any hesitation. He crossed expressions with Mikasa and glared for an instant. He then quickly made the assumption that having her present wasn't _really_ such a bad idea. Mikasa stared back in silence and kept looking straight ahead as she saw many men gather around having their swords ready, hearing Hanji shouting in the background looking at some mist in the distance. "What. . .?" Mikasa muttered slowing down.

There was a louder crack, more men shouting, hearing the fear in their voices filling the walls. "Is that steam!?" Jean asked, coming to a stop. Eren's eyes were widened, he was reminded of the colossal Titan. "What if she transforms!?" He shouted, he just made things worst. Some started to run away, they all knew that the blast would burn them all away. "Then we'll die today!" Hanji shouted with such amusement, fire in her eyes, utterly excited at what was presented to her as she draws her blades quickly.

"Good to see you on our side! Be sure to strike when the opportunity arrives Eren!" Hanji shouted, approving his need for transformation if needed. "His blast along will eliminate us! This isn't safe! We must leave!" Jean shouted and took a few steps back noticing that he was standing next to a ticking time bomb that was Eren. "Hey, what are you guys doing!?" He questioned once more. Mikasa took a step forward and pushed a feared soldier out of the way, the touch alone made the poor man freaked, he was so frightened he ran away. She looked back and saw Eren trembling with his thumb near his mouth contemplating Hanji's words. Her expression worsens and sees Jean quickly smack him on the head. "Stop it!" He cried, more terrified than anything. For a second there, she was grateful for his presence. Her attention quickly returns to Hanji who was in the front lines.

"Move." Levi ordered coldly shoving Eren aside and glared at him denying his intention of transforming as he reaches up to Hanji. "Don't tell that idi-" His voice quickly halted as a series of cracks were heard, none like before, all of the men stood silently, frighten, staring at the crystal coming undone, the dungeon becoming full of steam, Hanji's eyes widen, her mouth dropped, fascinated by what was happening before her. She took a step forward and held her hand up getting ready to strike, not willing to give her the chance to transform. "WAI-" Mikasa began and just as quickly a sudden blast of hot air was release knocking everyone out.

Mikasa braced herself with her jacket covering herself "AHHH! HOT HOT HOT." Hanji shouted rolling around on the floor. _She might transform!_Mikasa's mind alerted herself, feeling responsible she quickly launches forward, grabbing a nearby blade, blinded by the steam, she swings her blade once, clearing her view and comes to a complete stop.

Frozen, she's utterly frozen as she sees a small child within.

"Let me at her! Let me at her!" Hanji shouts as she quickly comes running next to Mikasa and quickly freaks out upon her discovery.

They were both staring at a blond little girl with big blue eyes.

"Annie. . " Mikasa said softly, making Hanji's mind spring back into action. "Huh!?" Her outburst startled the poor girl as she shook inside her overgrown clothes. Mikasa blinked at this. Her eyes were glued to her.

Nothing made sense anymore.

**Final Note**: It's very difficult to write something you have very little knowledge about. When it comes to this A/U that I created last December, I had a ton of images in mind, specific scenes, but only when I told myself, that I needed to render everything in writing, everything got confusing. I had no idea where to begin. And I still don't, besides creating a Prologue; which is just a pathetic excuse to set the stage. I mean everyone who has venture my blog has seen my artwork, they can get a good idea of what happens. But how do you say 'oh and she's now held responsible for her, the end' without making it sound so rash and stupid? I figured that drawings alone would be enough, but because of my nature, that wouldn't t satisfy me. I like to complicate everything. If anyone is familiar with my fiction FORCED, this will be similar. I intent to explore the subconscious of Mikasa and her everyday struggles as she takes the role of Annie's guardian and the consequences that come with it. Yes, it will be angsty, and there will be times where I would just like to kill myself. Much like FORCED did, but now I'm dealing with a 5yr old. You can imagine my excitement. Hopefully I'll see you next chapter as I'll probably explore the merits of raising a child and how fucked you are because of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tagline: **_I'm worth 100 soldiers._

**[STOP. Please make sure to read the Prologue since this continues it.] **You see something you can't explain. You acknowledge it. It looks familiar, and you have no choice but to embrace it, because there is no changing it. (If this is your first time reading one of my fictions, here are some quick guidelines. _Italics_ for the most part are inner thoughts and monologues. This particular fiction will be based on Mikasa's POV, so everything will be hers. Unlike my other fictions that changed perspectives in order to explore the characters in every other chapter. This fiction is for Mikasa. And it's extremely overdue.)

* * *

You wake up one morning and you realize that your life has made a complete 180. This tends to usually happen after a life changing event that makes us change for the better. But when it's something forced on you, whether it's by sheer luck_—__careful planning__—_even limitation, you might find yourself staring down at a tiny blond child with big blue eyes staring back at you_—__w_ondering, much like yourself, _where does she belong?_ As the older of the two, it's your responsibility to be able to provide such answers, she seeks you for wisdom.

_Not even._

For Mikasa knew that what a child wanted wasn't something sweet to suck on, but having the _need_ to belong. She wanted to be held tight. She wanted to be loved. Reassurance that she's safe. Because that's what any child truly needs, and Annie was a far cry from being anything dangerous; or so it seems. She trembled with fear in her eyes, and who could blame her, she was inches away from being beheaded by a mad scientist.

_Is this 'you' we're talking about, or Annie?_

Mikasa blinked, she was completely taken back by this. _Projecting your feelings towards a child is a shitty way to justify her crimes.__One gains self-doubt when they are forced into unwanted affection_. _What makes you think Annie wants that?_

She started having doubts, she really didn't know anything about her to make such a judgment call; but she certain a moment ago, enough to put an end to her. _The logical, right thing to do, given the situation._

_Are you trying to find justification? _Her mind mocked her.

But it was a reminder that she didn't really know anything about the girl. Especially in this particular form. She was forced to reconsider a different possibility; even though she certainly felt that way when Eren found her. And a part of her liked to believe that it was _true_ for her, in order to keep her interesting point came up among her troubling mind,_ just how normal do you wish to feel?_

She blinked again, not expecting that, she did commit crimes, crimes that were _normal_? She never did questioned it, they seem like such a waste of a time to reflect on. She had overwritten them for survival purposes, and when it comes to this cruel world, they seemed _normal_ enough. And that's what really made little sense to her. _It shouldn't have to, but it did. _And that realization made her realize what type of World this was_—cruel—_she was a mere child when she made that assumption; and she never looked back on it. Regardless of the differences she and Annie had, the Annie, she once knew seemed to be ridden of this World, and that just made it _crueler_ to her. Her heart harden beating at a steady pace_—one less comrade in my life—__she _gripped on tightly to her weapon, knowing she was right to make that call early on. _You expect you'd be accustomed to it, but you aren't._ And that thought alone, made her _feel_ like a human.

She saw no traces of Annie in this child, _but__—_ she paused, swallows hard and peers into her blue eyes_—__this __feels familiar._ _We tend to fear things we don't know._ Perhaps that was the reason she felt collective, she knew who she was.

In recollected memory, Mikasa has always been under the assumption, that those that have the ability to take action, should take responsibility for taking action for the greater good. At the core, this was something that she and Eren share. Eren fought for what he believed was just. And whenever Eren was in trouble, Mikasa proved that she wasn't going to wait to be called upon, because when you are capable of helping, you _acted_. In this particular moment, Mikasa was trying to see signs of Annie fitting that criteria. If she qualified, Mikasa was going to prove new guard.

_But why a child, Annie? Why? _She bites her lower lip, the realization of the possibility of coercing children to become Titans was heartbreaking.

_What option did they have? _She felt a shiver down her spine, _did they even have one?_

For what purpose no one knew, it was just recently that they found out people could shift into Titans. And that was the main reason they wanted to capture them alive. To study them, no one expected what happened after they came close with Annie, and certainly not this moment. Everything would have been easier if her current state wasn't a child, especially a confused frighten one. But the fact of the matter remains, if it was true, that was just fucking sad.

Mikasa's heart found a steady rhythm, the mist in the air was overwhelming, but also familiar. She wasn't on edge like everyone was. They didn't feel the connection she had. But nevertheless, her grip didn't lessen from her sword, and thought for a minute how easy it would be to end it. _Maybe I'll just use it_.

_—__y__ou__ don't have to. _She blinked, she wasn't expecting her subconscious turning over a new leaf. _It's wrong and you know it_. Her heart started to ache as the weight of the words starting sinking in, it blossom in a wave of sadness, crashing over her instantly. She lower her eyes surrendering to her feelings, she knew she was no match for them. Never in her lifetime, would she imagine raising a blade to a child.

_—__y__ou__ don't have to. _It repeated, lifting herself from this heavy burden. She really didn't have to do anything, she could just easily step aside and let everyone else handle it. She can even assume the worst and wait for her transformation, killing everyone in sight. And even thought that could be a cruel fate, it bothered her in the form that it came. A child.

_Weren't you a child once? Didn't you just want to go home? _Mikasa saw the young girl hid behind the overgrown clothes trembling, she didn't stop; she was beyond lost. And certainly no threat to anyone. _Perhaps to herself._

Her leg twitches, knowing that she was at a complete surrender, conflicted about the meaning behind it all. Then she did the unthinkable, she scoops down to reach her, only Annie didn't let her, she only took a step backwards. Children were never Mikasa's strong point. Perhaps it was pure guilt that Mikasa felt for making that approach, maybe she owes her that much for actually falling that she needed to pick up the pieces. And even if it was a small piece of her, it was still Annie. But watching her take that step of _mistrust_ open countless possibilities that she wasn't expecting. She was staring at a genuine child with no vile intentions. Her confliction only grew as she came to a full stop.

_Does she not know her power? Does she lack memory?_

The possibility of her being taken in for torture was becoming a lesser option quickly and useless if she really had no memory at all._Maybe it's what she deserves._

_But__—_

From the corner of her eyes, she sees a blade rushing forward and with fast reflexes she counters it stopping Levi from advancing forward. "Ackerman!" He lashed out.

Annie was startled, this was the 3rdperson who wanted her head with Mikasa being second, everyone gasped at the sudden change. It didn't look good, far from it. She was opposing her squad captain, against humanity's threat, shielding her from being hurt._For what purpose? _Mikasa had no real answer. Everyone had questionable expressions, murmurs and whispers were filling the room along with the steam. Hanji's expression was relieved, her specimen was still in tack, but startled just the same. Levi took a step back and launch forward again, only to have it countered once more, Mikasa harden her expression. "She's dangerous, Ackerman, don't forget." He stated in his usual cold demeanor, she could see the anger in his eyes_—no, revenge for his squad—_strange that she didn't share his views when Annie took Eren away._ Granted, a titan did, not a child. __And Eren is alive__. __And even then, it never seemed like she wanted him dead. ._

"Hey-" Eren stepped in quickly feeling a panic across his face, hoping to talk sense into them, but was quickly stopped by Hanji. Mikasa could only glance at him and returned her attention back to Levi.

It didn't hit her then, but Levi had made the decision for her. She was going to oppose anyone who stepped in, this much was clear to everyone present. And that's what the murmurs were really about. Mikasa was sending a direct message by clashing blades with him, if _he_ can't stop her, no one in the room could. She was going to take full responsibility if needed.

"Ah." Levi started. "Do you wish to do the honors, Ackerman?" He took a step back once more. She could only glare back, no one in the room knew what was happening between the two, Levi could read Mikasa like a book, and he was taunting her knowing full and well where she was standing. He was giving her a way out, a justification for stopping him from actually doing it,_ his message to everyone else. _Hanji's mouth dropped quickly, this was something she didn't expect. "You can't!" she blurted out, shoving Erenaway with forced making him stumble all over Jean, startling the poor boy who quickly shoves him off with great distaste. This was an alarming pressing matter to her, and it needed to be stopped!

"She's not a science experiment." Levi scolds at Hanji. "We don't know what she is capable of."

"That's why we must study her!" Hanji demanded, hoping to talk sense into him.

Mikasa turned her attention back to Annie, letting Hanji deal with him in her stead. Annie wasn't _dangerous_, she was small, fragile, with oversize clothes, completely bare shaking in her feet. This wasn't a fair fight no matter how you slice it. The Annie, she had known was gone. It actually hurt at some level. They were once friends.

_More reason to step in?_ Her mind informed her, finding purpose in her actions. She inhaled closing her eyes, and reflected for a moment. _'Those that have the ability to take action, should take responsibility for taking action for the greater good.'_

_Greater good? What good could come of it? _Her mind questioned, it wasn't helping, it only made things more difficult for her.

_—__take responsibility. _It echoed, her heart was really racing at this point.

_You either step away from the blast or leap forward and aim for her head to stop it all together. Or__—_

_'Then we'll die today!' _Hanji's words echo inside Mikasa's head. At this point, they really seem fitting.

_—just leap in and fuck the rest._

She quickly opens her eyes, drops her sword, and leaps forward, feeling her heart in her throat by her new found decision_—__take responsibility. You made her fall__—_she picks her up without her consent_—lets fall together Annie—_and drops to the floor quickly with her in her arms, shutting her eyes expecting a blast.

"Ackerman!" They shouted her name, filling up the fully steam room instantly.

Her heart was beating furiously, Annie was incredibly light, small, and incredibly fragile. Mikasa knew that _this_ was a judgment call. And could easily be beheaded for it.

_My gamble. Right Annie? _She smiled inside as she reflected on the last moments she saw her as a human. She didn't understand fully what she meant then, but now she did. This was a bet she was willing to take on.

Annie may have been a lot of things_—a friend for one, a comrade for two—_but Mikasa couldn't stand aside and let her beslaughter by such hate when she herself couldn't even stand properly.

_If she would have transformed, that would be reason enough to kill her. Something to even the ground. Some pathetic reason to not lose sleep tonight for slaughtering a child._

More blades were quickly drawn out, they themselves have also expected the worst. She knew that if they were to strike, she would die along with her; she still wasn't going to budge. Holding her sword against _everyone_ made no sense, she didn't wish to go against everyone for her personal intuition. _Yes, today is a fine day to die, Hanji. What better way than a dark room full of steam with questionable expressions on their faces, fear in their eyes, with swords drawn out to kill you; fine way indeed. _

It was laughable. And strange as it was, she didn't feel like this was something she was going to regret. Not that it'll matter in the next few seconds. But the _cause_ made it worth it. Her conviction of doing it for a greater good in this senseless, cruel World, even out her sanity, and even if this was the end of her and everyone, she was ready to die as a _human_. And this was something she will never apologize for.

_If you're going to transform, this is it you little shit._

Silence.

It was quickly disturbed by a small body movement within herself, and it emitted a startling sound. "Hic."

Mikasa opened her eyes, the small child was gripping onto her clothes, shaking with watery eyes as tears went down her cheeks, frighten beyond belief. She blinked and Annie hiccup once more.

Mikasa was astonished, she couldn't believe what she was witnessing. In the mere moments where she paved way for her to unleash such great terror among humanity, she reduced herself to a mere child hiccupping out of fright. She whimpered staring back at her, her grip didn't lessen, she held on tight to her jacket. Annie's fate was inching near to a resolution, and time was something neither had. What was her fate?

_What's mine?_

Levi stared in silence and lower his blade, his action relaxed a few members and lower their guard. No one said anything, none had the right words to follow up. The child quickly buried her face in Mikasa's chest for shelter.

And there it was.

Mikasa had no idea how dramatically her life would change by such action. How effortlessly Annie made it for her.

Her lips parted, her heart was now rapidly racing for all the wrong reasons, her vision became a bit blurry, and everything inside started aching.

_This is just so wrong… so cruel._

"What gave you the right?" Levi stated in his usual tone, raising up his blade once more, this time to her. She could only glare back and swallowed hard, trying her best to not buckle, she even failed to notice how hard she was gripping onto the Annie at this point, and this didn't sit well with him. "I watched her fall."

She responded, with her voice almost cracking. Everyone in the room can vouch for that. They all knew that if it wasn't for her, she would have made it over the wall. It only seems logical to let her finish it. She inhales mustering her strength and boasts with a serious expression. "I can do it again."

Levi's eyes had no fire in them, dissolution was perhaps the only word to describe it_—__curiosity, was another__—_he glances to his side. "You'll need body guards." He stated, surprising everyone once more.

_Acceptance._

Mikasa's eyes widen at this, she didn't expect for him to surrender that easily. Levi's eyes scouted looking for suitable soldiers to take such task. No one was amused. None step forward. Hanji was relief, and quickly chipper. Eren was confused about the entire ordeal, everyone seemed to have _some _understanding of what was happening. And it was something that really wasn't needed, as long as they did what they were told, that was good enough. They didn't need to be brief of what they just witness, if they themselves couldn't grasp, that was their loss. Levi wasn't one to hold explain the obvious.

"No need." Mikasa said, interrupting Levi's plan, masking a small smile underneath feeling more relaxed. She glanced down seeing Annie in the same position, hiding away, no longer making any sounds, just watching her body pulsate trying to control her hiccups. She could tell that she was still frightened. She looks back at him in all seriousness.

"I am worth 100 soldiers." She declared.

* * *

**Final Note**: I wasn't expecting this outcome, I honestly wasn't expecting anything. Normally because I don't plan my chapters. And I certainly wasn't expecting for Mikasa to ask herself such questions, but because she did, I was able to explore her more. Annie hiccupping at the very end was… interesting. It made me smile. Nothing felt more human than actually having her become so frightened that she'll start hiccupping. In my experience, one of the reasons children hiccup is because they are frighten, and I wanted to implement that here. Having her _be _a child spoke to me. It changed everything, especially the way Mikasa felt. I think if she didn't see any of that, she would just classify Annie as this horrible monster that was just playing some sick trick to get away with murder. Instead, I wrote about this fragile child, who is about to be killed, and Mikasa acting against it. Annie took a step back when Mikasa approach, she is in my opinion, is the pinnacle of what a _pure _child is. Their innocence of not trusting what they don't understand; their need to question what's around them at all times. Annie is aware at this particular moment that she isn't well perceived, that she has done something incredibly wrong, and she's about to be punished for it. She feels like any child will feel when they are on time out. They don't necessarily understand why they were scolded, but they are hurt by it. Annie fits this to a T, she doesn't appear to have any memory and she doesn't understand what is happening. She is sought out by adults with swords, and this woman (Mikasa) tried to harm her but is now reaching out for her. Instead of coming forward to what appears like _acceptance_, she took a step back, she wasn't ready to trust her yet. And that type of psyche is incredible to have as a child. And I love that Mikasa saw that. That simple gesture, made the gamble worth it to her. Now, will it pay out? See you in part 3.


End file.
